Sunday, December 30, 2012
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
KISS
Keep It Simple Stupid!
A professor in a university talked about the case of the "Empty Soap", which happened in one of the biggest Cosmetic Company.
The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soap box that was empty. Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department.
For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty. Management asked its engineers to solve the problem.
Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent a fortune doing so.
What happened to the small company when they faced the same problem?
The Smart Solution : When this same problem was posed by a small company, they did not get into complications of X-rays, etc but they bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan no, and as each soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.
The professor continued talking about the case that when NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity (Ink won't flow down to the writing surface).
In order to solve this problem, it took them one decade and $12 million. They develop a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees C.
And what did the Russians do........................????
Guest it !!
The Russians used a Pencil !!!
The professor continued talking about the case when he had to visit a mental asylum, the professor asked the Director how to determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh. I understand," said the professor "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No," said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
People tend to ramble, never getting to the point. They focus more on showing what they know, rather than on what needs to be achieved. They focus on problems more than the solutions.
KEEP IT SIMPLE
A professor in a university talked about the case of the "Empty Soap", which happened in one of the biggest Cosmetic Company.
The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soap box that was empty. Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department.
For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty. Management asked its engineers to solve the problem.
Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent a fortune doing so.
What happened to the small company when they faced the same problem?
The Smart Solution : When this same problem was posed by a small company, they did not get into complications of X-rays, etc but they bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan no, and as each soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.
The professor continued talking about the case that when NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity (Ink won't flow down to the writing surface).
In order to solve this problem, it took them one decade and $12 million. They develop a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees C.
And what did the Russians do........................????
Guest it !!
The Russians used a Pencil !!!
The professor continued talking about the case when he had to visit a mental asylum, the professor asked the Director how to determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh. I understand," said the professor "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No," said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
People tend to ramble, never getting to the point. They focus more on showing what they know, rather than on what needs to be achieved. They focus on problems more than the solutions.
KEEP IT SIMPLE
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
LOVE
My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.
Two years into marriage, I would have
...
Two years into marriage, I would have
...
to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.
I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.
“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”
Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.
I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.
“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.
You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”
My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….
Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…
That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form... flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…
I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.
“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”
Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.
I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.
“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.
You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”
My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….
Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…
That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form... flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…
Sunday, December 9, 2012
WHEN PARENTS GIVE AWAY THEIR MONEY TOO EARLY
(Phil. Star Article by: Letty Jacinto-Lopez )
At their 54th anniversary, my friends made a decision to distribute their
combined assets among their living heirs. Their rationale, Para walang gulo. (To avoid trouble). They added one proviso: While still alive, income from these properties will be used to maintain our present lifestyle inclusive of medical expenses, extravagant trips and unlimited shopping.
That's easy, replied the heirs. The income was substantial to indulge the
old folks with a bonus that the heirs can use in any manner they wanted.
The first year passed without a hitch, but soon the problem surfaced. Each
child used all kinds of tactics to keep the money from his parents. It
reached a point where the poor retirees had to beg for sustenance, robbing them of the dignity they worked hard to uphold.
What went wrong?
Bad decision, said a cautious friend who warned the couple of this scenario.
Children are so unreliable when it comes to inherited money.Money
received, which was not expected and not a direct result of something they
worked for, is not given the same value as money earned with their own
sweat and tears. They lose their sense of propriety; gratitude is tainted
by greed and decency gone. This is compounded by in-laws who can tilt or
convince their respective spouses to throw out good sense and filial
affection like soiled rugs,
Honey, they're going to die anyway, so why waste good money on them?
To avoid falling into this vulnerable, pitiful state, keep these 10 tips in
mind:
1. Do not retire. If you're over-aged, retire and get all the benefits but
find another income-generating job or open a business that will keep you
active physically and mentally. Travel and bond with true friends, play a
sport, learn a new hobby and volunteer in your community or parish. Don't
loaf around. Your spouse will hate you because you've become a sloppy,
listless bum with nothing good to say about the household and things that
you never bothered about before. Solve crossword puzzles, play Scrabble,
write your memoirs, and above all, read ...this will keep you alert and
keep Alzheimer's at bay.
2. Live in your own place to enjoy independence, privacy and a solo life.
If you move in with your children, your rank or degree of importance is
reduced to that of a bed spacer who has no place of honor or, worse, like
crumbling furniture merely displayed with no added value. Might you kowtow to conform to their own rules that are not kind, considerate or mindful of you? If you witness your children engaged in a war of will and wits with your grandchildren, whom will you side with? Will they even appreciate your arbitration? Remind your children that silence is not a sign of weakness; you are merely processing data that is taking longer to complete.
3. Hold on to your nest egg, bank deposits and assets. If you want to help
your children, do give, but not to the extent that you wipe out your life's
earnings, singing heroically not a shirt on my back nor a penny to my name.
Staying solvent and in the black is a good hedge against all kinds of
tempests. You will sleep better, you will not be afraid to express your
opinion and you will be confident about yourself.
4. Don't believe your children's promise to care for you when you grow old.
Priorities change. Many children are not guilt-ridden or filled with a
sense of moral obligation when the wife and offspring take top billing in
their lives. There are still children who would consider it a privilege to
show compassion, genuine love and deep concern for their parents but be
warned that not all children think alike.
5. Expand your circle of friends to include young ones who will definitely outlive your old BFFs. Keep up with new inventions, trends, music and lifestyle including all the scams and schemes you should guard against. Remember that when you mix with the young, you also open a fresh avenue to channel your thoughts, experiences and values through so that the lessons you learned are not lost, forgotten or buried with you.
6. Be well groomed and smelling fresh of spring water all the time. There's nothing more depressing than seeing people exhale when you walk by because you reek of baul (camphor chest) or lupa (dirt). Old age or bust, don't look and smell like a corpse when you're not one yet.
7. Do not meddle in the life of your children. If they ask for your
counsel, give it, but be ready to accept that they may not take it. Their
situations in life cannot be compared to the situations that you
experienced in your life. The playing field has changed and they need to
develop their own set of survival skills. If you raised them to be street
smart, they can handle themselves in tough situations and be able to read
people. Champion and encourage their dreams and desires but on their own terms.
8. Do not use old age as your shield and justification for turning grumpy.
There's nothing more annoying than an arrogant, old fool. Welcome each day as another chance to be kind and forgiving, to yourself and to others.
9. Listen to what others may say. Do not throw your weight around just
because you are a septuagenarian or a nonagenarian. You are not a
depository of knowledge. Even if the roles have been reversed, make growing old a fun-filled, pleasant experience for you and your brood.
10. Pray always and focus on your eternal life. You will definitely leave
everything behind, a final journey detached from burden and care. Be more
accepting that, sooner, not later, you will croak. Prepare your swan song
with a humble and contrite heart. If you believe in a merciful and loving
God, there is no need to strut like a star. Nobody is.
At their 54th anniversary, my friends made a decision to distribute their
combined assets among their living heirs. Their rationale, Para walang gulo. (To avoid trouble). They added one proviso: While still alive, income from these properties will be used to maintain our present lifestyle inclusive of medical expenses, extravagant trips and unlimited shopping.
That's easy, replied the heirs. The income was substantial to indulge the
old folks with a bonus that the heirs can use in any manner they wanted.
The first year passed without a hitch, but soon the problem surfaced. Each
child used all kinds of tactics to keep the money from his parents. It
reached a point where the poor retirees had to beg for sustenance, robbing them of the dignity they worked hard to uphold.
What went wrong?
Bad decision, said a cautious friend who warned the couple of this scenario.
Children are so unreliable when it comes to inherited money.Money
received, which was not expected and not a direct result of something they
worked for, is not given the same value as money earned with their own
sweat and tears. They lose their sense of propriety; gratitude is tainted
by greed and decency gone. This is compounded by in-laws who can tilt or
convince their respective spouses to throw out good sense and filial
affection like soiled rugs,
Honey, they're going to die anyway, so why waste good money on them?
To avoid falling into this vulnerable, pitiful state, keep these 10 tips in
mind:
1. Do not retire. If you're over-aged, retire and get all the benefits but
find another income-generating job or open a business that will keep you
active physically and mentally. Travel and bond with true friends, play a
sport, learn a new hobby and volunteer in your community or parish. Don't
loaf around. Your spouse will hate you because you've become a sloppy,
listless bum with nothing good to say about the household and things that
you never bothered about before. Solve crossword puzzles, play Scrabble,
write your memoirs, and above all, read ...this will keep you alert and
keep Alzheimer's at bay.
2. Live in your own place to enjoy independence, privacy and a solo life.
If you move in with your children, your rank or degree of importance is
reduced to that of a bed spacer who has no place of honor or, worse, like
crumbling furniture merely displayed with no added value. Might you kowtow to conform to their own rules that are not kind, considerate or mindful of you? If you witness your children engaged in a war of will and wits with your grandchildren, whom will you side with? Will they even appreciate your arbitration? Remind your children that silence is not a sign of weakness; you are merely processing data that is taking longer to complete.
3. Hold on to your nest egg, bank deposits and assets. If you want to help
your children, do give, but not to the extent that you wipe out your life's
earnings, singing heroically not a shirt on my back nor a penny to my name.
Staying solvent and in the black is a good hedge against all kinds of
tempests. You will sleep better, you will not be afraid to express your
opinion and you will be confident about yourself.
4. Don't believe your children's promise to care for you when you grow old.
Priorities change. Many children are not guilt-ridden or filled with a
sense of moral obligation when the wife and offspring take top billing in
their lives. There are still children who would consider it a privilege to
show compassion, genuine love and deep concern for their parents but be
warned that not all children think alike.
5. Expand your circle of friends to include young ones who will definitely outlive your old BFFs. Keep up with new inventions, trends, music and lifestyle including all the scams and schemes you should guard against. Remember that when you mix with the young, you also open a fresh avenue to channel your thoughts, experiences and values through so that the lessons you learned are not lost, forgotten or buried with you.
6. Be well groomed and smelling fresh of spring water all the time. There's nothing more depressing than seeing people exhale when you walk by because you reek of baul (camphor chest) or lupa (dirt). Old age or bust, don't look and smell like a corpse when you're not one yet.
7. Do not meddle in the life of your children. If they ask for your
counsel, give it, but be ready to accept that they may not take it. Their
situations in life cannot be compared to the situations that you
experienced in your life. The playing field has changed and they need to
develop their own set of survival skills. If you raised them to be street
smart, they can handle themselves in tough situations and be able to read
people. Champion and encourage their dreams and desires but on their own terms.
8. Do not use old age as your shield and justification for turning grumpy.
There's nothing more annoying than an arrogant, old fool. Welcome each day as another chance to be kind and forgiving, to yourself and to others.
9. Listen to what others may say. Do not throw your weight around just
because you are a septuagenarian or a nonagenarian. You are not a
depository of knowledge. Even if the roles have been reversed, make growing old a fun-filled, pleasant experience for you and your brood.
10. Pray always and focus on your eternal life. You will definitely leave
everything behind, a final journey detached from burden and care. Be more
accepting that, sooner, not later, you will croak. Prepare your swan song
with a humble and contrite heart. If you believe in a merciful and loving
God, there is no need to strut like a star. Nobody is.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
SHAKESPEARE on Happiness
William Shakespeare Said :
I always feel happy, you know why?
Because I don't expect anything from anyone
Expectations always hurt ...
Life is short ...
So love your life ...
Be happy and keep smiling
Before you speak, Listen
Before you write, Think
Before you spend, Earn
Before you pray, Forgive
Before you hurt, Feel
Before you hate, Love
That's Life … Feel it, Live it & Enjoy it
Monday, December 3, 2012
Learn to Let Go
Came across this very good article that reflect my life. I have learnt to Let Go so as to stop the suffering and move on with my own life.
There you were, deeply involved in a relationship. It may have been stormy or you may have thought everything was running smoothly. Then it happened: Your significant other no longer wanted to be your significant other. This scenario happens almost every moment of every day, but when it happens to you, your whole world can focus on this. Many people that do not want the relationship to end will go into a panic to keep the relationship alive. Most of these attempts are in vain. When a relationship ends, it can be a heartbreaking, emotionally crippling time, and there are strategies you can implement to learn to let it go.
It is important to understand that as much as you may wish, you simply cannot control another person's thoughts or feelings. Even if you feel they are unjustly ending the relationship or you do not see any logic in their choice, they possess the freewill to do with their life as they wish. It is sometimes enormously painful to accept this fact, especially if you feel you have given so much of yourself to this other person. When they choose to walk away from you, you may feel a very strong craving to stop the progress of their actions. When feeling that you deserve something from this person, it can cause you to behave in very improper way. This behavior is detrimental to your emotional well-being.
There is no debate regarding the poignant pain that is involved in a breakup or divorce. There is not a magic way to completely stop the misery you will feel from the loss of this person. However, there is a way to control these feelings. No amount of pleading, begging or bribery can change how a person feels about you. Once you accept this fact, you can then move on to take actions to behave dignified and accept the end of the relationship with your esteem intact.
If the following sounds familiar, you have not learned the art of letting go. When faced with the end of a relationship, have you called that person endlessly will pleas to be reunited? Have you contacted the other person and promised to change your behavior to better accommodate their needs? Have you attempted repeatedly to question them as to why they are choosing to leave you? All of these are clear-cut signs that you have a difficult time letting a dead relationship go. All of these signs only make the situation worse for you.
When pleading with another person to "begin loving you again", you are setting yourself up for disaster. You cannot talk someone into loving you. You may be a wonderful, caring, kind and compassionate person, however if someone who was in your life does not feel they want continue the relationship, you cannot force them. You already must deal with the loss of the relationship. Love is a choice of freewill. To beg, plead or otherwise, will only lead to feeling defeated once again.
It is exceedingly difficult indeed, to control the desire to reach out to the person who left you. When you are so used to conversations with them or seeing this person everyday, it will throw your world upside-down when you must deal with a sudden end of communication and a physical connection. Realizing that calling the person, trying to "accidentally run into them" or other means of contact is futile, you must learn to distance yourself. This must be done in the name of self-respect.
If you can be emotionally strong enough to know that nothing you do can bring this person back to you, you can leave with dignity. If you harass this person, in an attempt to reunite, added suffering is imminent. It can be so frustrating to plead, beg and try to persuade someone and have him or her repeatedly reject you. The best road to take is one of complete and utter non-communication. Once knowing you do not possess the power to control their feelings and actions, control your behavior. You will have moments of weakness and there are steps you can take to overcome these.
Resist the urge to "show up accidentally" in places that you know you will run into them. You may think it is a great idea to spend hours making yourself look fantastic and then going to a restaurant, bar or otherwise that the person frequents. Your plan will be to show them how wonderful you look and they will regret their mistake of leaving you. Your plan will actually make the other person fully aware of your plan, and they will think your plan is pitiable. Whatever reason they had for leaving the relationship, whether unfounded or not, will remain intact. Flaunting yourself in front of them is akin to screaming out, "Look at me! Why do you not want me?". Do you really want to seem that deprived?
Do everything possible to stop yourself from calling them on the telephone. Delete their number from your cell phone. Another good option is to leave their number, but to change their contact name to something along the lines of, "No! He/she treated me horribly". This is a good strategy to prevent you from calling them, in the moments that you are feeling weak. You can also tape a note to your home phones. One suggestion is to write something such as, "Do not call him/her, they broke your heart and you will look like a fool if you keep calling!". These may sound rather silly now, but when in a state of a broken heart, it is common to act irrationally and these tips can stop your foolish behavior.
If you are used to instant messaging with this other person, and you wish to leave your messenger intact on your computer for messaging with others, there are several options. Firstly, you should opt to create a new user name and inform only your friends, family and others that you do wish to communicate with of your new name. If you choose to keep your user name, obviously, you should delete your ex's name off your list. If you are not emotionally strong enough to do so yet, you should at least opt to change their contact name, so that their name will show as "Ex- do not IM him/her!" or anything that will prompt you to not contact them.
You may feel a very strong urge to leave phone messages, or offline instant messages to the other person who left the relationship. You may feel you have an endless array of things to say to this person. Alternatively, you may feel you must get the last word in, but it never ends there. If you allow yourself to leave these messages, you will always find something new to add. The other person is most probably ignoring or deleting your messages, it will not bring them back to you, and all of your efforts will be in vain. Once you have implemented the means to prevent yourself from contacting them, do realize this: As absurd as it sounds at the moment, as much as your heart is aching, as much as you feel you were unfairly treated, as much as you feel you know you were the "best thing to ever happen" to them, time will change your feelings.
It is one of the most frequently used cliches when a relationship ends; however, time does heal all wounds. When using the term "heal" this does not mean that you forget this person forever. It does not mean that you will live the rest of your life without this person's name or image appearing in your mind. It does mean that given a certain amount of time, the image and memories of this person will fade.
If you follow these guidelines to end the relationship quickly and not drag the breakup into a long process, there will be a day, not too far in the future, that you realize this person was not the right one for you. You desire a good person, someone who cares for you unconditionally, someone to support your decisions, and someone to walk through life with. If this person leaves you, heartbroken and alone, they are proving they possess none of the qualities that you were looking for in a mate. You may feel misled, lied to, or tricked. The reality remains that they ultimately did not measure up to having the qualities needed in a relationship with you.
At one time or another we have all wished we had the power to make someone loves us. We have prayed for their return. We have deprived ourselves from sleep while pondering what we could have done to stop them from leaving. We have spent endless hours wondering how they could leave us. In the end, all of that time spent is needlessly, we will never obtain the answers. Only one fact remains: Everyone has freewill to do as they wish.When a person leaves you, learn to let it go.
One of the hardest things for any person, man or woman, is letting go of a relationship that's not meant to be. We are often attached to the illusion that this person is "the One" for us, and that if we don't have him or her, we'll never find somebody new.
Holding on to disappointment, hurt, blame, anger, resentment, and bitterness, we convince ourselves that "all men are jerks" or "all women are bitches."
If you've just got out of a relationship and are harboring a lot of resentment against your partner or against the opposite sex, now is NOT the time to start dating again. Your anger and bitterness will poison even the most loving relationship.
When we hang on to baggage from past relationships, we end up projecting our pain on to others in our lives - our families, children and, eventually, our new partners.
Our emotional baggage is usually rooted in our relationships with our own parents, or in bad relationships we've had in the past. We have to lighten our load and heal our pain before we can love again.
Some of the practices you need to cultivate in order to heal yourself are:
· Radical Personal Responsibility: Take responsibility for the role you played in your relationship, either by taking inappropriate action, not acting altogether or expecting too much. Stop blaming your partner. Own your feelings, so you can change them.
· Self-Awareness: Are there patterns that keep repeating in your relationships? Do you have a tendency to get into relationships with abusive people, or become abusive yourself? Become mindful of your reactions to people and situations. Learn to identify your patterns, and the unhealthy beliefs that are causing them.
· Acceptance: Accept yourself and your partner the way you are. Accept the fact that the relationship was not meant to be, that it didn't work because it was not your highest and best.
· Forgiveness: Learn to forgive yourself for all the damage that your anger and pain may have caused, and forgive others for being human and acting out their own anger and pain.
· Gratitude: Be grateful that you're out of a bad relationship, so you can be with someone better suited to your needs. Be grateful for all the lessons you've learned from your partner.
· Compassion: Learn to look at all people as human beings dealing with their own pain. Spend some time seeing the world through their eyes and you'll become less judgmental.
· Detachment: Learn to let go of unhealthy attachments to people, things and situations.
· Independence: Stop expecting other people to give you the love and acceptance you should be giving yourself. Learn to meet your own needs, let go of expectations, and enter a healthy, inter-dependent relationship.
· Optimism: Optimism is not essential, but it makes life so much easier. An optimistic outlook, positive attitude and belief that everything happens for the best, can help you bounce back from your loss. Have faith that the best is yet to come.
It takes a lot of tears, hard work, and introspection to break the chains of the past. But it's worth every moment! The feeling of freedom and contentment that you experience is just awesome.
Getting rid of your anger and hurt will help you stop blaming others for your pain, and allowed you to see your former partner as they really are - a wonderful, sensitive human being with the capacity to love, to care, and to hurt just as deeply as you.
It will allow you to love life again, to see the beauty in every experience, to be non-judgmental and open to new relationships.
No time spent in a relationship is ever wasted. Ever experience is a lesson and only when you learn the lesson will you progress to the next level. So stop beating yourself up over all the years you "wasted" with that "loser."
If it didn't work, it was probably not meant to be. You can't force someone to love you, just as you can't force commitment or marriage. These are stages that should happen naturally, when it feels right for both people.
Contrary to popular opinion (and sad love songs) love is not meant to hurt. If you're in pain, what you're experiencing is not love, but attachment or co-dependence. Too often we fall in love, not with our partner, but with the IDEA of being in love.
It's best to let go of a relationship that's causing too much pain. Instead of wallowing in the past and writing your own sad love song, do your inner work, get rid of the anger and disappointment and get on with your life.
Let go of your partner with love, so you can move past your hurt and learn to love again.
Re: A Lost Relationship- Learn to Let Go
The pain you suffer following the breakdown of a relationship is like the pain of bereavement. Losing the person you love, whether the reason is death or through the failure of a relationship, is agonizingly painful. The emotional stages of a relationship breakup are similar to the stages of recovery from death of a loved one.
Knowing what these emotional stages are and understanding that your confused emotional feelings are normal can help you deal with the experience of coping with your emotions following a relationship breakup.
Here are the stages:
1. Pain.
When you are faced with the loss of the person who was your partner in life, the pain can seem unbearable at times. Some days will be unrelentingly bad and others will be less painful. There is no cure for this pain but you will get through it and the pain will recede as time passes.
2. Denial.
When your lover tells you the relationship is over it seems incredible and you can't believe they have really walked away from everything you shared. In this stage, your mind simply refuses to accept what has happened and you believe there has been some awful mistake.
3. Anger.
When the initial shock has passed, anger will take over. You will wonder why fate picked on you. You will be angry with the whole world, and with your lost love in particular. The feelings of anger are natural and unavoidable. However, you should take care not to lash out at friends or family who are trying to support you. You might be tempted to pour your anger out on your ex and this can lead to bitterness that will poison even your memories of the good times you had.
4. Depression.
Depression is a natural feeling when you are missing the love and companionship you once enjoyed. Depression goes deeper than ordinary feelings of sadness, and some people will not be able to understand how you are feeling.
5. The Upward Turn
As you start to adjust to living your life without your partner, your emotions become more stable. If you had physical symptoms such as insomnia or lack of appetite, they lessen and your bouts of depression become less frequent and less profound.
6. Reconstruction
As you get over the feelings of shock and depression, your body and mind will start to function more normally. This is the time when you will be able to concentrate more on reconstructing yourself as an individual and building a future for yourself.
7. Acceptance.
When you reach this stage, you will have moved on. Being happy again actually seems possible and you will find you can look forward to the future.
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